The Final Healing Session
hi, just stopping in here to say i freaking made it!
5 1/2 months, 16 healing sessions, 5 drugs, 222 cold caps, 5 days admitted in the hospital, 1 laparoscopic surgery, countless scans, multiple doctor’s visits, and a plethora of side effects. After all of this, I am so happy to finally say that I have officially made it through my chemotherapy regimen! I can honestly say that in the valleys and dark times, I never felt like I would make it here, it felt so out of reach and so far away. So this is definitely a huge milestone, one to be deeply celebrated!
The night before my final healing session I received the sweetest surprise from one of my dear friends, Lexi. Truth be told, I wasn’t feeling up for it. I was still feeling the cumulative effects from the treatment two weeks prior, was exhausted, and just felt like calling it quits. But my lovely friend rallied the troops and put together the most beautiful video of encouragement and love from my friends all over the world - you can watch it here if you’d like. Needless to say, this beautiful gift reminded me how far I have come and gave me that extra boost I needed to get into the headspace to finish off this round of treatment!
Prior to my final session, I felt called to put together something special for my nurses and cold capper. I worked with a local high school student who recently started her own business making custom glass tumblers which she named, Sippin’ Pretty. I picked these beautiful floral glass cups and had each nurse’s name added to the cup in rose gold foil. I of course then filled them with goodies including chocolates, chapstick, hand sanitizer, and candy, and then completed the gift with a handwritten note! The nurses have treated me like family these past 5 1/2 months and I wanted them to know how much I appreciated their empathy and conversations on the days I needed it the most.
I had my final healing session on Thursday, February 15th accompanied by my best friend of 20 years, Britta. This was definitely a very emotional day as I prepared to say goodbye to those who have been at my side for my rollercoaster of a journey. This includes my amazing cold capper, Judy, and my amazing team of oncology nurses. It’s the end of an era and I spent a lot of time looking back at the long journey I had to get right here, in this moment. And yes, I finally got to ring that bell signifying that my course of treatment is done and I am on my way! I’ve created a vlog to bring you in on the tears, laughs, and stories that were told during my final healing session - you can watch it here!
Last week, I also met with my breast surgeon who will be doing my double mastectomy at the end of March. I was so honored to meet her in person as I’ve heard so many amazing things about her.
She told me a bit of news that totally made my day, week, life really…
I will be able to keep my nipples in what they call a nipple-sparing double mastectomy. This may seem silly, or small for someone on the outside looking in. But for me, this is a HUGE win! This is one more thing that cancer cannot take from me - it’s a part of me, it’s identifying, and I don’t have to give it up due to my diagnosis! Easy to say, I’m thrilled I don’t have to say goodbye to this part of me and it’s making the thought of surgery feel a lot lighter for me. For those of you who don’t know - a typical mastectomy will have incisions straight across the breast and will take the nipple. Leaving you with “Barbie boobs” as my friend calls them. But in my instance, I will be able to keep my nipples and have my incisions below my breast which I am over the moon about. It’s really the little things that are the big things!
The other good news that I’ve recently heard is that I will be able to have my port removed from my chest during my double mastectomy - this is a win because I will be able to hit two birds with one stone and won’t have to go back in for another surgery, huge time savings! This also means that I will not be needing any more IV therapies as part of my treatment. I will actually miss my port, it’s been my buddy through all of this and has saved my arms and legs from a lot of pokes and prods. But I’m also equally excited to be shedding the layers of this season of my life and moving forward.
Another update - I have been kicked out of consideration for a clinical trial. (This is actually good news believe it or not!) Earlier this year, Mayo Clinic made me aware of a clinical trial called Beauty-2. This would be an opportunity for me to take oral medication between my final healing session and my scheduled surgery to help achieve a complete pathological response. This would have required a biopsy to confirm that there are still active bad cells in my breast, some blood work, and a few more doctor visits. However, after further consideration from the study principal investigators of my recent MRI results, they determined that due to the good response I’ve had to treatment I would not be a good candidate for the trial. This of course would have been a great opportunity to help further research, but also I’m greatly satisfied with the results I have seen so far from the chemotherapy drugs themselves. Now, I can only hope that the pathologist sees the same great results when they look at my tissue when I am on the operating table!
Here are the miracles we pray for in the upcoming weeks, months, and years:
Miracle #1: When I go in for my surgery on March 27th the hope is that the pathologist sees a “complete pathological response” meaning, that there are no more bad cells left in my breast and/or nearby lymph nodes and that the treatment did its job! This will lessen the need for additional therapies such as radiation or ongoing oral chemotherapy. This will also decrease the chances of recurrence.
Miracle #2: There are no long-term damages to my body from the treatment regimen I have gone through. This means over the course of due time I will see my body regain my normal energy and my organs will work again soundly. My liver, thyroid, adrenal glands, and ovaries have been greatly affected by the medicine. I know the human body is capable of so much healing if given the right environment and the gift of time. So, I hope and pray they these organs and all others have the opportunity to heal alongside the rest of my body.
Miracle #3: These bad cells don’t come back in my breast or anywhere else in my body. Ever.
Thank you thank you thank you - for all of the love and support that has gotten me through these tiring last few months. I am so excited to be in the final stages of these awful side effects - from dry mouth, oral fungus, fatigue, bloating, hair shedding, hot flashes, the list goes on. My oncologist says it should be about 6 months or so until I start feeling decent, and a year until I truly feel great and more like myself again! If anything these last few months taught me that I can do hard and scary things - so, I got this!
Although we are uncertain what path lies ahead for me post-surgery, I am so excited to be moving forward and seeing progress in my healing journey. Healing sessions - check, done! ✔
In love and healing light,
Xo, Breanna
